Fake AC MkII

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
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 Post subject: Nature's Primal Sensuality
PostPosted: Sun Aug 03, 2008 1:39 am 
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Project's Bitch
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Sorry to lower the tone, but Pics or GTFO.

I've got to see that :lol:

On topic, I couldn't write that in a million years so :glomp: mixed with a hint of :(


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 Post subject: Nature's Primal Sensuality
PostPosted: Sun Aug 03, 2008 1:41 am 
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I was going to say, this is turning into chat on a thread meant for feedback on writing. So watch it or I'll delete posts.

Yeah, I'm a mean mod. (I could get drunk on power!)

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 Post subject: Nature's Primal Sensuality
PostPosted: Sun Aug 03, 2008 1:48 am 
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Call the Cops
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Location: Oz. The L. Frank Baum Version
Kodama- Thank you for the encouragement. I appreciate the sentiment of the hug.

Steven- Kodama started it!


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 Post subject: Nature's Primal Sensuality
PostPosted: Sun Aug 03, 2008 1:49 am 
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Oooo, the worm has turned :P


Fine. Critically. Why was the "I" not capitalised? Etheral glow across the morn or upon the morn?

And finally, been a bit of a dry spell has it? :oops:

/drunken rambling

CS: Tattle tale ;)


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 Post subject: Nature's Primal Sensuality
PostPosted: Sun Aug 03, 2008 1:55 am 
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Mew Mew's apprentice
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first its very good stop bitchin i like it


oh and in rat assed :D


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 Post subject: Nature's Primal Sensuality
PostPosted: Sun Aug 03, 2008 1:58 am 
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Kodama-Across or upon? Tricky, I'm referring to everything as if it were human, so it could be, across the women's body or upon the woman's body? Which sounds better?

Dry spell? :oops: Shush you! Dirty old man.

Shogran- I didn't understand a word of that.


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 Post subject: Nature's Primal Sensuality
PostPosted: Sun Aug 03, 2008 2:10 am 
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I won't mod him for that. Would be hippocritical :)

Rat arsed = drunk

CS: So dry spell would be a direct hit then :lol:

As for upon/across ask OG or HB, I'm more proof reader than editor, haven't written creatively for 17 years (apart from CVs (resumes) and forums >< )


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 Post subject: Nature's Primal Sensuality
PostPosted: Sun Aug 03, 2008 2:12 am 
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Kodama- You are filthy and so wrong. Yes wrong. Wait. Damn you !

Steven- Across or upon?


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 Post subject: Nature's Primal Sensuality
PostPosted: Sun Aug 03, 2008 2:19 am 
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Now I'm thinking drought of Saharan proportions. 8)


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 Post subject: Nature's Primal Sensuality
PostPosted: Sun Aug 03, 2008 2:24 am 
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sexXxholic
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[insert inappropriate pun about the mile high club here]

Nice bit o' cloud sex.
Although I'm not too sure about the line
Quote:
Alas, is it not reminiscent of sweet, carnal lovemaking?

The name of the piece and the majority of the content make it quite obvious what you're talking about. I think this line is perhaps a little too blatant and unnecessary.


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 Post subject: Nature's Primal Sensuality
PostPosted: Sun Aug 03, 2008 2:32 am 
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Howard- Thank you for the comment. I think you may be right about that line. I am very tempted to blush now.

Kodama- Why must you continue?


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 Post subject: Nature's Primal Sensuality
PostPosted: Sun Aug 03, 2008 2:53 am 
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Steven - across or upon?

Nicole - in what sense? No idea what you mean there. :scratch:
(not bothering with innuendo either)

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 Post subject: Nature's Primal Sensuality
PostPosted: Sun Aug 03, 2008 2:58 am 
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*sucks teeth*

OG: Read from my 2nd post on the 2nd page onwards and all will become clear. Maybe?


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 Post subject: Nature's Primal Sensuality
PostPosted: Sun Aug 03, 2008 3:18 am 
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I get it now.

Light across or upon a morn? Well considering the morning is when the sun rises, and spreads light, I guess a bit of an odd thing to say either way.
I guess across works as creates the image of light spreading along the sky, whereas upon would suggest light on the dawn.

Hmmm, the more I think about it, the more I'm not certain of that line. :el:
Ethereal light across the sky would be better.

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 Post subject: Nature's Primal Sensuality
PostPosted: Tue Aug 05, 2008 12:45 pm 
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Call the Cops
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Ethereal light across the sky? Probably better then morn, but not perfect, since it is the womanly curves of the earth that are supposed to have light gently cascading across it, like a woman's glow after...*cough* well you get the idea...

I would say earth but I hate reusing words over again, so I'm racking my brain trying to find a suitable word.

*to the thesaurus*


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