Do you ever have one of those days, when you feel as if when you walk into a room, everybody sees you, but no one really knows your there. Like you can read deep into everyone's conscious and tell no one gives a damn about you deep down. Sure, they might notice if you weren't there, but the thought would be a passing fancy, like hey the skies blue, it wouldn't strike them as all that important.
Do you ever have one of those days when you think your heart might break in two because no one seems to understand the inner workings of you? One of those days when you just wish with all your might that someone would notice that the smile is just an act and realize that deep inside your scared, helpless, and want someone to care.
Have you ever felt yourself slipping, only to realize you are on the tip of an iceberg above a freezing ocean? Longing for some one to grab out their hand and say, I’m here, I care. Don't disappear; I'd miss you too much. Have you ever felt like the only soul in the world that seemed to acknowledge you, seemed to know you’re not invisible is you and even that is an iffy situation.
Damn, some fucking days I wish that people would look past the smiles, understanding worry lines, past the pleasantries and annoyances. Search deep down, farther then the strong, callous, self assured act; and realize, I'm only human, a human that cries inside and whose tears haunt internally.
Realize that even though on the outside it's hard for me to show emotions about my own life, that inside my tears are slowly putting out the fire in my soul, I feel myself slipping, slipping off this iceberg and, there is no one, no one there to catch me. I guess that's okay though, no one has ever been there before.
I’m strong. I'll just pull myself up, I’ll dig my numb fingers into the ice and lurch myself skyward, and my warm bloody fingers, the drops melting the ice, those fingers that represent all the pain and struggles I go through alone, as they ache. I will not cry out. I’ll pray to whomever is listening that either someone pulls me up, I make it on my own, or god help me, I die on impact.
I'm wondering why no one wants to comment on this one...is it that bad?